I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
