And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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