All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
