Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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