My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
