okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
