dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
