Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
