I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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