Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
