After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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