Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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