So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
