what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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