Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
