To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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