therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
