whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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