i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
