Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
