There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
