You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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