I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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