I will die if light touches me.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
