new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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