You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just had sex on a roof
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
