Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
