Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If I die, sorry about rent.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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