DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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