I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
