in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
