I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
