I want to stick my p in your. b.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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