Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
