She said her name was "party"
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
