some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
