Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
