i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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