is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
