i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
