at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Randomize
