You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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