is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
