Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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