I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
