'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
