from now on my penis is your penis
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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