My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
