is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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