I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
